Sunday, January 18, 2009

Still Sad, But Oh So Blessed

This weekend has been the most painful of my life. While it's hard, if not nearly impossible, to see it right now, I know that God has a plan for me. He will use this situation to prepare me for something better down the road. I have been so blessed to be reminded of this by so many of you. Blessed to know that I am surrounded with family and friends who care deeply about me and are praying for me. It's going to take a while, but I know things will get better. And it's because God is holding me in his arms, and because all of you are holding me in your prayers and thoughts. I can't thank you enough.

This is a poem that a dear friend sent to me. I found it to be very truthful, though I still have "a while" to go.

"After a While"

After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn
that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't always mean security.
And you begin to learn
that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of woman, not the grief of a child
and you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye, you learn...

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